Instead, everyone behaved as if everything was perfectly normal, with Chris Rock having to award a prize 10 seconds after Will Smith slapped him on stage. It was the strangest case of gas I had ever experienced – until half an hour later, when Smith won the Academy Award for Best Actor and implied in his speech that his attack was part of God’s plan and was simply “protecting” his family. Too bad he did not bother to tell Rock what God’s plan was for how to protect his face. It’s almost enough to make you mourn for the Academy: it spends decades trying to find ways to make the Oscars interesting, only to become interesting in a way it really did not want to be. Oscar producer Will Packer had decided that the right way to make the Oscars interesting was to cut some of the technical awards from live television in the hope that it would prevent people from getting too involved in politics. It turns out that he could have let all these people involved in sound and editing have their time on TV. “Too many awards” would never be the highlight of the night. Even before the ceremony, this Oscar was shaped as the most ridiculous to date, thanks to celebrities who continue to prove that Team America played its satire. One of this year’s hosts, Amy Schumer, announced that she was fighting the bravest fight in the West right now: trying to bring more political content to the Oscars. And to that end, he wanted to give a boost to the latest sexy starlet, the content provider everyone is talking about, Volodymyr Zelenskiy, the president of Ukraine. “I wanted to find a way to have the Zelenskiy satellite or make a cassette or something, just because there are so many eyes at the Oscars,” he said. Yes, so true. Unlike that silly war, about which no one knows, because it is too far away and not even at the front of the Variety. “I’m not afraid to go there,” Sumer continued bravely, “but I’m not the one making the Oscars.” Amy Sumer appears on stage dressed as Spider-Man during the Oscars. Photo: Chris Pizzello / Invision / AP Sean Penn then issued what some journalists described as an “ultimatum” and this journalist as a “parp” when he announced on Saturday that he would “smell” his Oscar in public, unless someone from the Academy “said” leadership in Ukraine “. It is always the celebrities who want to prove how profound and non-Hollywood they are who reveal that they are the shallowest and most Hollywood of all. Only a brain seriously eroded with too much Botox or narcissism would believe that a politician in the midst of a literal real war is waiting for a call from the Academy. “Oh, please, Amy Sumer,” Zelensky no doubt thinks at the moment, amid the bombed-out hospitals and asking for more foreign aid, “Please star in the Oscars!” Can I send my audition tape? “ Spoiler: Zelensky was a non-appearance and references to Ukraine were very limited. But there was a “moment of silence” in the middle of the show (and hashtag) about Ukraine, which, by a remarkable coincidence, lasted exactly the same time it took for the directors to change the scene. So convenient! I like it when resolving international conflicts can be multitasking with the household. Like ironing while catching your podcasts: two birds, a hashtag. It was shortly after the moment of silence that the incident occurred. Now, I’m sure there will be a lot of comments in the coming days about why Smith slapped Rock and who was more wrong (answer: Smith). But since I was in the theater when it happened, and not a million miles away from Rock, I would like to point out a few quirks about the whole thing.

  1. It’s very strange that Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith were doing well with host Regina Hall joking about their open wedding early in the evening, but not with Rock joking about Pinkett Smith’s hair, right?
  2. For all those who said that Rock’s jokes were stupid, it’s good that you didn’t hear Sumer cook completely everyone else in the room earlier in the night, and none of them buttoned her in the face.
  3. No one in the amphitheater knew at first whether all this was a joke or not, as it seemed, not even Smith. I watched his reaction to Rock joke and at first he laughed. Then he saw how irritated his wife was, then he realized that the whole audience saw that because the camera was on her, then he got angry and got up to slap Rock. Whoever wants to turn it around, made a pretty emotional journey.
  4. When Smith then argued in his speech, hm, let’s just call him “protecting” his family, as he “protected” Aunjanue Ellis during King Richard’s creation, Ellis did not seem too happy. And who could blame her?
  5. Judging by Smith’s general demeanor, I would say that Geoffrey the butler should speak well to him. Lots to think about, but not about the Oscars, which dealt with the incident with a single concise tweet, and not with any of the celebrities at the event. Usually at the Governors Ball, right after the ceremony, celebrities are willing to talk about anything. But for the first time in a decade covering the Oscars, not only did they not talk about anything, but many brought their PR with them as protection. Any journalist who dared to get too close to Oscar winner Billie Eilish and her brother Finneas was quickly ousted by a restless PR, as was Francis Ford Coppola. Steven Spielberg was happy to pose for a selfie with everyone and their mother, but when I asked if he had enjoyed the night, he replied, very politely, that he would not answer questions. Fortunately, you can always count on a Canadian to laugh at ridiculous Americans, and Denis Villeneuve did not disappoint. I asked what he did for the night. “It was unpredictable,” he laughed. “Although the last time I was here was when they confused the envelopes with Moonlight and La La Land, so my wife and I said, ‘What happens when we get to the Oscars?’ We are;” Jane Campion and Benedict Cumberbatch at the Netflix afterparty. Photo: Charley Gallay / Getty Images for Netflix I tried to ask Jane Campion what she did for the night, but at that moment the DJ started playing Satisfaction from the Rolling Stones and she, Benedict Cumberbatch and Kodi Smit-McPhee broke out in an extremely enthusiastic dance and I was worried that they might crease. with her Oscar. So I headed to the Vanity Fair party, thinking that people would be relaxed (drunk) there to talk. But no. The first people I saw were the Williams sisters, who are too divine to approach them. Instead I went to Mr Serena, AKA Alexis Ohanian, the co-founder of Reddit. What topics did he expect to see on Reddit at tonight’s awards? “Hmmm, I did not know they let you click here?” he said with fake-but in fact-a little genuine nervousness, while looking around for safety. Only the best guys are left in, Alexis. So what did he think of the ceremony? “Look, I’m just a plus here. “I will just say that I am very happy for the family and that is it,” he said. The whole party was a large mass of repressed hysteria. In one corner, James Corden spoke intensely with Adrien Brody and Georgina Chapman, Harvey Weinstein’s ex-wife. In another, Kourtney Kardashian watched Trevor Noah. It was hell and super-real, and everyone seemed dizzy and anxious at the same time, excited to be out but not sure what was allowed. “This is the first time I’ve been out for two years – and without a mask! “I feel naughty but nice,” said Michael B Jordan. So what did he say about the Oscars? “Oh, I’m not talking about that,” he said. Even Larry David – a man whose rudeness is rude to everything – refused to talk about the night, as did Jake Gyllenhaal, Lady Gaga and the Wanda Sykes. Perhaps none of them could figure out what the right opinion was for Rock and Smith. After all, to have an opinion you need principles, and these are not included in the Oscar gift bag. Or maybe they just did not want to bother with boring questions on their first night out in two years. As I was getting ready to leave and go home, I spotted Jesse Plemons, with whom I have a quiet and not entirely professional love. So what did he do at night? He was sitting right behind Smith, wasn’t he? “Yes, we were very close,” he said, referring to himself and his fiancée, Kirsten Dunst. “At first I thought it was funny…” Me too, Jesse! “Then, when Smith was shouting all these curses, I thought, ‘Oh, maybe they’ll bleed.’ That’s exactly what I thought! We have so much in common! “And then I realized it wasn’t funny and yes, it was very strange. “But you know, all of that,” he said, gesturing around the party, “it’s pretty weird, and everyone feels so angry and weird, and it’s all kind of crazy. “So maybe it made sense, you know?” Ω, Jesse Plemons. So wonderful and wise. So maybe this is the right view: it was a weird time, so it was a weird Oscar. It looked like a nice gentle shot …