Not that this seemed to bother any of the Tories supporters who seem extremely worried about both the cost of living crisis and the evidence of crime within No. 10. And the fact that their leader can widely support Tory MP Jamie Wallis, who had just revealed that he was having sex discomfort, the next day had opened his speech at dinner with a trans joke. There is no disconnection there. They cheered happily on whatever lie Boris chose to tell. And there were enough. From the Tories who have reduced the tax burden to Labor who want to bring the UK back to the lockdown and the EU. Keir Starmer also had a bad day. His questions did not have their usual focus and Johnson was able to escape more easily than usual without answering anything immediately. Over and over again, the Labor leader was unable to nail the oiled pig. He could not even really make Partygate count, despite the fact that the Suspect continued to insist that no lockdown rule had been violated at No. 10. Despite the fact that the police have issued 20 fixed penalty notices and are counting. The person closest to annoying Johnson was Labor Champion Sarah when she asked him how he slept at night. The answer is that he gets pissed at parties. Or alone. It was more the same when the suspect appeared before the liaison committee – the parliamentary subgroup of elected committee chairmen – in the middle of the afternoon, only rather more drowsy. The hangover was not over and it was the only thing Johnson could do to not fall asleep. The result was clearly contagious. Most of the committee chairs also tried to stay awake and the meeting was catatonic boring. For a brief moment at first, things seemed more hopeful when committee chairman Clive Bates – Bernard Jenkin’s deputy who had Covid: a loss in comedy if nothing else, as no one takes themselves more seriously than Burnie – disbanded the program and allowed Pete Wishart and Catherine McKinnell to ask questions at Partygate. So you were one of 20 people who received a fixed penalty notice, Wishart asked. The suspect played with the toddler’s haircut and opened one eye half open. “I’m sure you would know if it was me,” he murmured. After that it was all downhill. Wisart continued to rattle his questions. Could any prime minister survive when he is arrested and found guilty? Was the violation of the ministerial code a resignation? Would he accept that the FPN version was proof that a crime had taken place? Could he explain why his party responses had changed from “They never happened” to “I was outraged that other people went to a lockout party” to “I did not realize I was breaking the law”? In each question, the suspect referred to the 5th amendment. “No comment,” he said repeatedly. It was like an episode of Line of Duty. Johnson could not say anything because he did not know how much dirt the police had on him. Therefore, it was best not to say anything for fear of further guilt. He would be very happy to return to the liaison committee later, when the police had convicted him. Or not. He did not sound like a man who was too worried in one way or another. No one really expected to tell the truth – even Dominic Raab, the deputy prime minister, now admitted that Johnson could only tell the truth “to the best of his ability”. Which was very low bar. The issue went further when McKinnell asked how he felt about a report calling for lying to the public to be considered a criminal offense. The suspect shook his head. He tried to tell the truth, he said. But he could not stop the lies from coming out of his mouth. He had already forgotten the lies he had told during the PMQ. And he certainly was not responsible for any future lies he would tell that afternoon. As he told Stephen Timms he had corrected an earlier lie about employment data. Or that you would just fall into the fantasy of how there were now 1.3 million fewer people in absolute poverty. Which exactly happened to be the exact number of people the thinktanks had predicted would lead to absolute poverty as a result of his government’s tax increases. The rest of the session was devoted to Ukraine and the cost of living and proved to be spectacularly revealing. The highlights were Bill Wiggin, who had just returned from a paid trip to Qatar, asking for more visas for, well, Qatar and Neil Parish looking for a minute and a half for fertilizer. It was comedy gold. The suspect tried to show interest and ended up promising the land to both men. As he did with all the other elected committee chairmen. That’s how Johnson works then. It is the classic Boris. Drag everyone down to your level. Keep the water as muddy as possible. That way no one can see your shit.
